December 2011
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friend: i got an A on my calculus test
friend: i got a hot boyfriend
friend: i had so much fun partying this weekend
me: one time i got four notes on a text post i made
Random attractive person: Do you like The Hunger Games?
Me:
Random attractive person:
Me:
Random attractive person:
Me:
Random attractive person:
Me: So, I'm thinking a spring wedding, maybe even autumn I like Saturday yeah we can invite a lot of people or maybe even none at all lol I actually know a lot of people on the internet who could come or we can just elope or like whatever you prefer and like do you want chidlren I was thinking maybe one or two also what are your plans for retirement or I don't know do you want to be buried side by side or cemated?
Meeting Darren
Me: Will you sign this?
Darren: Sure
Darren: Wait,what is that?
Me: A marriage certificate
Darren: But.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
everyone: it's just a book
you: YOU KNOW NOTHING
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notlellathellama:
notlellathellama:
Acceptable ways of saying ‘you’re attractive’ on tumblr:
FUCK YOU
ASSHOLE OH MY GOD
H O W
W H Y
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EVERYTHING
IT’S NOT EVEN FAIR
WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT
WHY DO YOU EXIST
GET OUT
LEAVE
I HATE YOU SO MUCH
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING
ASLUTKDRAYFCSLGV.SYIA;SFTD;FAY FUCK ME
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
...
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whenthesuspenderscomeoff:
training for the ballet, potter?
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Boom! I’m pregnant, ovaries explode, I see it all.They don’t call me Kevin...
– Kevin McHale talking about tumblr (x)
friend: so who are you going to kiss at midnight on new years? ;)
me: my laptop
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I think I’ve been unofficially married to a number of people.
– Darren Criss (Source)
When I was a young human, tears would flow from my...
mamaumbridge:
Until one day when my Mama Umbridge said to ME
“Dolores, girl, you put down that cheesecake,
you throw out that fondue,
and you get up off of that couch girl! Get on up!”
SIT DOWN!
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I met Chris Colfer recently. He’s a fucking amazing kid, I love what he is, I...
– Jared Leto, about Chris Colfer (via sweetklainekisses)
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